I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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