it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
