yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
