We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
