ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
