i wish peter jackson would direct porn
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
