It's Friday. Sex?
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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