Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
