dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
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