On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Randomize
