it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
