if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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