I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I'm jealous of your bromance
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
