Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
