all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
