I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
