You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
