i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
