That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Just high enough for therapy.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
