i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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