I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
