Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
