is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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