First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Randomize
