Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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