too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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