Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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