she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize