just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
