so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
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