I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I cockslap morals
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
