Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
At least life still wants to fuck me.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize