Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
