Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Randomize
