I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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