i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I feel like I'm in dance class right now
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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