put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
You're a waste of cheezeits
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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