belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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