Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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