So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
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