erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
