dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
i just had sex bonerless
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
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