For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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