when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
