Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
It's just like the Real World with babies
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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