i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize