she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
