brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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