My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
