Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
