Acid is not a monday night drug
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
50% drunk capacity currently
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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