so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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