His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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