I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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