none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
