Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
