Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I party with great urgency now.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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