; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
