maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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