so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
it's like heaven, but drunker
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
