Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize