Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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