idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i was born a porn star she said
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize