my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
